You can tell a lot about a person by the people with whom we
associate. So in order to follow God and
follow His will in our life we want the kind of relationships God desires. Some people say we can just be us and God,
but God created Adam and Eve in the garden for relationships. Ecclesiastes 4 speaks of the power of
relationships in our lives to help us up when we fall. That means we need the people in our lives
who WILL help lift us up. If you are
frustrated about not having the relationship you want, consider whether you are
pushing people away without knowing they are.
This has a root in fear of letting people really know who they are or
fear of rejection. Look and see whether
you are sometimes pushing people away.
Building the friendships takes time.
Unstuck Factor #1—Abandon Unhealthy Relationships
We need to examine the relationships we have because that
influences who we become. Are they
drawing me closer to God, pulling me away, or neutral? We don’t necessarily need to cut the
unhealthy relationships completely off, but we still need to set a boundary
with them. We spend more time with those
drawing us closer to God and less with those pulling me away. We want to teach our kids this as well. I saw numerous young people while a youth
pastor who started hanging out with the wrong crowd and later started doing
things they shouldn’t. While growing up,
there was a popular kid named Brian with whom I wanted to be friends. My mom told me absolutely not. In high school, it turned out he got into
serious trouble just as my mom predicted.
You as the parent know when something is not right.
Unstuck Factor #2—Be a good friend first
Become a good friend in order to attract good friends. Proverbs 17:9 says we should cover offenses
rather than exposing them and avoid gossip.
When we want to impress someone we talk bad about someone we think they
don’t like. Instead, we should hear them
talk bad and say “I would rather not talk about that. I don’t like to do that.” Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all
times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Become the friend who sees someone is going through a tough time and
offers help rather than pointing out what they did wrong to everyone else.
Unstuck Factor #3—Connect with new Christian friends
Not every person in your life needs to be a Christian, but
your closest friends should be.
Especially you should find someone who is a few steps farther along than
you are or has conquered an area you want to conquer. Find someone who is going the direction you
are, and they will help you go there.
This is the idea of being equally yoked.
Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, so one man shapes
another.” We want people in our lives
who challenge and sharpen us. We need to
be near people in order to allow them to sharpen us. One way to do this is to serve in the
church. This is partly how I got to know
my wife. We were in a college and career
class and were able to observe and learn about each other as we served and
learned together.
Unstuck factor #4—Devote ourselves to the most important
friendship
The first thing we need to do to get unstuck in relationships
is get the first relationship (that with Jesus) right. Romans 5:10 and John 15:12 (and forward) say
we are God’s friends and no longer His enemies.
Jesus died so we could be friends with God. We need to accept His friendship and lay our
lives down for Him first. In Ephesians
it says God reveals the innermost secrets to us. That is the sign of a close friend. That’s the kind of intimacy God desires with
us. God already knows the innermost
things about us, but He still enjoys us telling Him deep things about us
because it is deepening our relationship with Him. He is our BFF (best friend forever).
To listen to the entire sermon go to http://ahwatukeechurch.com/ and click on
online media. To learn more about Living
Word Ahwatukee, visit http://ahwatukeechurch.com/.
