Monday, March 5, 2012

Unstuck Part 7—Getting Unstuck in Our Families


We started with a reminder that despite that today we focus on families and raising children that everyone can apply this—singles to their future or to nephews and nieces with whom they may interact, grandparents to their grandchildren.



Family is a picture of who God is.  God paints a picture of Him being the Father throughout the Bible.  The Holy Spirit is described as the female side of God and nurturer.  Jesus is referred to regularly as the husband and bridegroom, which could be difficult for men to relate to but is very important.  We don’t choose the family in which we are born, but despite them we can choose to love the family we have.  We can also choose the family we want to surround ourselves with in life, beyond just our blood family.



Unstuck Factor # 1—focus my family with daily prayer and Bible Study.  This may be difficult to do, but start with a level higher than what you’re doing now.  Of course, praying together as a family for hours a day is probably not realistic.  It would not fly in my family.  Instead, we want to set a tone that God is a part of all we do and is our partner in life.  Sometimes the prayer might be a prayer before bedtime.  You can approach Bible study by asking the kids what they learned in youth or talking about what was taught in children’s church.  Every day will be different, but make God an integral part of your family so that you develop a foundation for them in their lives to have always seek to know God more (1 Chronicles 16:11).  We want to teach our kids to pray and talk to God (pray) but also study and let Him talk to them (study).  There are many great families whose kids go astray.  This proves that you cannot control your child’s future—their decisions, etc.  But if they have a foundation, if they stray, you pray and know they will come back to the foundation that you put in place.  What I want to emphasize also is (if Mom and Dad are both in the home) that it’s great if Mom sets the tone for God being the center, but it is POWERFUL if Dad set the tone.  God set the father as the priest of the household, so the power of this direction is stronger when it comes from Dad.  Studies have shown that if Mom initiates taking the kids to church, 30-40% of them stay in church, but if Dad does it, 75-80% do.  If you are a single Mom, remember that God can be the perfect Father to your kids. 



Unstuck factor #2:  involve my family in church.  That means you are not just there but ENGAGEd in church.  Kids need to see VALUE in church in their parent’s lives for them to see value for it in their lives.  Some kids make the choice not to come despite a great example from their parents, but that’s when we pray and know we have set the right foundation in place (Proverbs 22:6).   I encourage people with kids over around 10 or so to have their children in church with them about once a month.  They can see what YOU do in church and see how you are applying it to your life.  You can also teach them how to listen to God and hear what He is saying to them.  I would also encourage you to volunteer together in the church together as a family.  This is very important for them to learn as well. 



Unstuck factor # 3—readily forgive our family when necessary.  We should demonstrate that we forgive readily despite what the other person did.  They should not hear us talking bad about aunt so-and-so or other family members but instead should see us walking in forgiveness.  Ephesians 4:32 urges us to forgive because we were forgiven first.  Proverbs 17:9 says that we don’t want to expose sin but instead cover over it.  Love wants to see the person become better, stop the sin, and bring restoration.  We can still be honest and talk to the person about an issue, but there’s a different between that and exposing their faults or getting revenge.  Romans 5 says that when we were at our worst, He was at His best, dying for us to forgive our sins.  Romans 12:18 says we should, as far as it depends on us, live at peace with others.  At a young age, we not only emphasize that our kids apologize when they do something that hurts a sibling, but that also the offended party says “I forgive you.”  This instills at a young age the principle of forgiveness.



Unstuck factor #4—schedule family celebrations together.  I always say “families that party together stay together.”   If we just live life and get stuck in routine, we can grow apart.  We must enjoy life together, even if we have to schedule it in order to do it.  I’d encourage you to plan one night a week as a “family date night.”  It doesn’t have to be anything special or expensive as long as you do it together.  Everyone turns off the phones and computers and does something together—watch a movie, play a game, etc.  Celebrate birthdays together and make them special.  Schedule a vacation.  We have had times when we’ve had good times financially and could have a big vacation, but other times we did something more simple.  You can do something in town, set tents up in the living room or back yard, etc.  It’s the principle that counts.  Celebrate your parents.  Exodus 20 says that we should honor our parents and that if we do, we will live a long life in the land God has for us.  We honor them because they exist and gave us life.  This will bring a lot of fruit in our lives.  We don’t want to talk bad about grandma and grandpa in front of the kids but honor them in front of our kids.



Unstuck factor #5—trust God with our family.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says we need to trust God and let Him make our path straight.  Our kids need to see us doing all we know to do and then trust God for the rest, they will see Him provide.  One way for them to see that is through tithing.  Despite what we have or don’t have, we give to God and trust Him to provide, we can show them that God will always provide what we need as we tithe and trust Him with our finances. This will leave a legacy and inheritance to them of trusting in God and seeing His provision. 



To listen to the entire sermon go to http://ahwatukeechurch.com/ and click on online media.  To learn more about Living Word Ahwatukee, visit http://ahwatukeechurch.com/.